Men without shirts in hot weather

Why is it that the moment the sun appears in a British sky, we as a nation, are subjected to all shapes and sizes of shirtless men?  Suddenly from nowhere we are confronted, full on, with hairy beer bellies, indistinguishable tattoos, armpit hair, sweat spots, just general spots and so on.  Of course I’m sure most people would not object if these men were built like the models from the cover of Mens Health magazine, with a suitable tan to match.  But lets face it, that will never be the case in Britain.  Maybe on the coast in California but here? I don’t think so.  Instead we come face to face with scrawny (bordering on twig like) or obese (bordering on is that two people or one?) white upper bodies, often accompanied by a defiant stare as if to say “go on, you know that deep down, you think I’m gorgeous…”.   May I speak for Great Britain when I say, NO.  we do not think you are in any conceivable way, gorgeous.  Put your shirts back on.  Now. Thank you.